Jonathan Enns

Signs you might be an Evangelical

// March 1st, 2009 // Uncategorized

Always fun to pop our own bubbles, are you in an evangelical one?

C. M. Patton over at Parchment and Pen writes twenty signs you might be evangelical. Here are a few:

You Believe that hell is going to be populated by Catholics (except for Mel Gibson), the Clintons, Mormons (with a special dispensation for Glen Beck), the staff of New York Times (all of them), Rosie Odonnell, all of the people from the East coast and West coast (with a special hot spot for Hollywood), Brian McLaren, and all Liberals, you might be an Evangelical.

 If you ask someone how their spiritual life is going and you really mean “Have you been doing your morning daily devotionals,” you might be an Evangelical.

If you think Kurt Cameron should get the academy award for best actor in Fire Proof, you might be an Evangelical.

If you choose a church based upon the selection of donuts and coffee (and price), you might be an Evangelical.

If you evangelize by saying, “If you were standing before God and he asked you ‘Why should I let you into my heaven?’ what would you say?” you might be an Evangelical.

If your church’s weekly events consists of Men’s Lunch Bible Study on Wed, Ladies Beth Moore Study Teus afternoon, Men’s Prayer Breakfast at Chick-fil-a on Monday, Truth Project Friday’s, Potluck Dinner Every other Sunday, Men’s Accountability Group Thursday, The Passion of the Christ Watch Party Every Saturday Evening, and Men’s Every Man’s Battle Study Group Everyday (Morning and Evening), you might be an Evangelical.

 If your support of the church is determined by parking availability, you might be an Evangelical.

If you have submitted to your wife and feel guilty about it, you might be an Evangelical.

 View all 20 signs at Parchment & Pen